Divinity & Humans

Three days ago his holiness (being Roman Catholic, I call him as such) came to the Philippines to visit the storm ravaged province of Tacloban Leyte, to bring hope & spiritual advice to its townsfolk.

You can only imagine how much relief he brings to the people of this area..not relief from hunger & homelessness..but relief from emotional burden, loss & despair. Months ago, the world saw how storm Yolanda crushed this region, leaving thousands dead, missing & for those who survived..reduced to unimaginable state. I could even remember the heart wrenching story of a boy who survived his family, & how he lives like a dog, in a house that’s barely standing, with a beat up car tightly lodged on the roof.

So I flipped on the TV, & watched the live coverage of the Pope’s arrival up to his departure & I think I did this for about three days. I never cease to wonder, how he has touched the lives of my fellowmen (me included) & how he was able to endure the hectic schedule he had to wrestle with, the whole time he was here in my country (heard the Pope was 78 years old) & having a father who’s in the prime of his years, I know it isn’t easy to get your way around with that age.

And with everything I have felt & seen, it is just amazing to know that somebody of his status would care to leave his seat of responsibility & power, just to visit a very small & third world country like ours. A country saddled with poverty, back breaking labor, corrupt government & hopelessness.

For people living with the freedom & comfort this advanced generation can offer, religiousness can “sometimes” be the image of an old & long forgotten past. But for me & my countrymen..this is what makes life & all its misery worth living.

As his trip came to an end, I will never forget the unity he has created. How He as an important figure brought my country together, Catholic, Muslims & other organizations alike, to be one in spirit, hope & good purpose. At the end of the day, I guess it’s not the belief that matters..but the renewed feeling of wanting to live again, to continuously dream & do good is what should always count.

When I visit Rome, I’ll make sure I see him again..not to worship him..but to remember that same feeling. To always remember what path I have chosen & to always go on in life, knowing that I have a God that waits for me (even if others say there is none) at least at the end of my journey in this cruel world, I knew how it was to live, to love, have spirit & be completely human.

Finding Purpose

As 2014 came to an end, my worries & doubts went along with it. It wasn’t so bad (this I brought myself to believe every single day) loosing your job to a crappy Boss, probably won’t signal the end of times, or whatever… but it may (i admit) dampen my spirits a little bit.

I have been from one career to another, worked my way up, created innovative ideas for my previous companies, opened the flood gates of success & growth, & I’m sure as hell! left what I call a “corporate imprint” on my colleagues & work acquaintances.

I can say I reaped what I sowed..I built myself reputation which rippled through my family life & my human sense. I made money, maintained business relationships & of course adversaries (they are always around, like roaches)

The day I told myself enough is enough, is also the same day I began to know “fear” because for once, it looked me in the eye & made its presence known.

I feared for my future, my family & even friends (if I truly had some) I guess keeping yourself occupied with your career for many years, & living a fast paced life, can numb your senses to everyday & normal feelings such as sadness, fear & acceptance. Because chasing after a lifelong dream (i call it a wild goose chase) at break neck speed does things to you…

And the irony of it all? as you desperately keep (maintain) your shiny trove of earthen treasures…you loose account of those people you should have remembered & kept for the rest of your life.

The table is laden with food, & the gifts are more expensive than ever, but across the table you peer into empty hearts & lost souls.. they are shiny & fancy as your gifts, but you know they barely exist..

So this year I ask myself..what is my purpose? do the people around me still have one? would they even want one?? the day I fired people because my Boss said so, & I put them on the streets..did that fulfill at least a fraction of that dream? I will always wonder..always..

And So It Begins

When you are out of ideas..what should you go for next? do you look for a new life?maybe love?adventure? or you simply toss a coin & see where it takes you? coming to a crossroad can be tough. Mainly because if this happens early on in life, no matter how purposeful your life seemed..there will be this time, when you just have to ask yourself where you want to go…who you want to be & when you want change.

But you see, people change often..one day you know who a person is, & the next day you don’t, today you are an icon & maybe one day you wake up & nobody knows who you are. And from there you tell yourself, you are a soldier, you carry on, face your battles fearlessly & emerge a victor, a conqueror..a hero.

But maybe the most important question is “Are you a better person now, than you were before?” do your demons still haunt you? over the years, I managed to get rid of some..but not all..& I realized it takes mental strength & acceptance to permanently remove them from your life. & wish they never return.